Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Pranking Pam

   Pam's Cat-Even she thinks this was funny!

I love pranks. Not mean ones, but simple, funny stuff. I have the perfect person at work to pull these pranks on and another co-worker, Rodney, and I have pulled many on her over the years. Now Pam is a very intelligent person but somewhat gullible. 

So, I work in a hospital lab and someone, I don't remember who, brought in this big, black, very realistic looking rat one day as a joke... you know, he was the lab rat, as we were. Of course, I realized the opportunities immediately. My lab is part of a huge hospital system in the area and there is some testing that has been farmed out to us, which means that we do all that particular testing for the entire system. The couriers will drop off the samples around 9 am each morning. They arrive in these large, brown, non see through zip lock bags. Pam was scheduled in this department one morning and decided to go have her breakfast and coffee before the courier drop off. About 5 mins after she left the area, the courier arrived and put her bag in her area. I saw my opportunity and found the rat. I opened the bag, dumped everything out, dropped the rat into the bag, then put all the samples back into the bag. I then went back to my assigned department and to work. Some time later, Pam returned to her department. The counter she sat at was a high one and she was in a taller, wheeled chair, tall enough that her feet would not touch the floor. Underneath the counter was a metal wall that ran from beneath the counter to the floor. I am looking through the microscope, reviewing a slide when all of a sudden, I heard a blood curdling scream, followed by the metal wall being kicked then the sound of Pam's chair slamming into the counter behind her. Everyone, including me, went running to see what was wrong, then Pam yelled "Cindy, Rodney, I don't know which one of you did this, but that was not funny!" By this point we're all gathered around the doorway to her area and there was a few seconds of complete silence while everyone took in the sight of Pam, red as a beet and against the opposite counter, then the pile of sample bags on the counter with that big, black rat sitting on top... then everyone started roaring with laughter. Pam was not amused. She glared first at me, then Rodney and said "I know it was one of you". I just shook my head and tried my best to look innocent. We all started walking away, still laughing, and, Rodney, who's 6'4" leaned down to me at 5'3" and whispered.."You did that, didn't you?" I grinned and nodded and he patted my back and said "Good one". Poor Pam. It's amazing that she doesn't hate us.

There were many, many more incidents with the rat and one day, it just disappeared. I suspect Pam. But there's always other things to take its place..... Rubber snakes, the large air pillows that come with supplies and make such a loud bang when you quietly lay them on the floor behind someone then jump on them, plastic roaches....... So many possibilities. 

I love my job!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Beach Trip and Swinger's Club

Several years ago, I got together a beach trip for myself and some friends. We rented a beach front unit, very large one with 3 bedrooms, large living room with a pull out bed, 2 full bathrooms, a kitchen, dining room and a private balcony. We were on the 15th floor and the view was incredible! The plan was, whomever could come would come down on the days they could (we had it 10 days) and we'd split the cost each day based on how many people were actually there. I think, there at the end, we had about 14 people. One guy slept in a fold out beach chair on the balcony every night! He loved the sound of the ocean and there was always a great breeze blowing.
Anyway, the 1st night was just me and my friend Sandy. The 2nd night, my friend Tim came and was there a few nights, so it was just the 3 of us at first. On Tim's 1st night there, we all decided to go eat seafood. On the way, Sandy and I were talking about how much we loved playing on line trivia. Tim had seen a bar that had a sign saying "Play NTN Trivia Here". So, after dinner, we found this bar and went in to play. Sandy and I went to the bar and got controllers, Tim just sat back alone at a bar table-one of the tall ones-and ordered a beer and just sat there watching Sandy and me play. Sandy and I played quite a bit at home and worked together to get high scores. This guy was sitting a few stools down, noticed we were kinda working together on the game (the point being to get your bar into the top 10 or 20 in the country) and came over to us to see if he could join us. Those of you who know me know that I'm friendly to everyone so I agreed. Sandy was a bit shyer than me and seemed to not be as ok with this as I was, but she was always a good sport. I'm a true gemini, the more the merrier. The 3 of us chatted and talked during the game and on breaks. He introduced his 2 friends he was there with, a couple who hung back at another bar table, beside Tim as it were. They acknowledge the intro, but really didn't approach us. I kept glancing back at them during the games and they seemed to be in deep conversation, but kept nodding towards us. I just dismissed this. All 3 were somewhat scruffy looking, but hey, we're at the beach, lots of us are scruffy while at the beach! After we played a couple of games, we quit, then moved to Tim's table to drink a beer and talk. The couple still hung back, didn't join our table, but sat there watching us intently while we talked with their buddy. Tim looked pretty thoughtful and didn't say much-which is NOT like him at all, and Sandy seemed a little unnerved. I didn't know WTH was wrong with everyone! I was on vacation and looking to have fun!
So this guy starts asking where we're from and I tell him. He told me that he and his group were driving back to New Jersey via Greenville and maybe they could call me and we could all go out to dinner. I said sure, I'll give you my number before we leave!  Sandy gave me a very mild kick under the table. I thought it was accidental. So, he tells us about this club he's a member of. This club encompassed all of the USA and was open to anyone who wanted to join and was great fun. They would meet locally a couple of times a month and engage is some type of fun activity, then, once a year, they would do a national meeting, always at a different area of the country and this year, they were at the Myrtle Beach area (we were at Garden City). He went on to say that they had booked a yacht and were going out for a whole day out in the ocean. There was going to be a band, free drinks and food, and a great time was expected for all! Sounds like fun to me! He asked if I'd ever been on a yacht and I told him no. Nuther little tap from Sandy and now Tim is shooting me these weird looks. He asked if we'd like to go and I immediately said YES, that sounds like a lot of fun!! I saw Sandy's eyes get big, the quiet couple started smiling and whispering amongst themselves and Tim was looking stern. I did not understand all this--let me say here that I am not a subtle person, I do not get hints.. if you have something to say to me, just freakin say it, cuz if you give me funny looks or hints or subtleties, I will not get it!!! 
So this guy tells me, that's great, we'd love to have all 3 of you join us tomorrow and maybe, once you meet the others and see what we're all about, you'll want to join the club too. Sounded cool to me!
He told me what time the boat was sailing out and said he could pick us up at our hotel. He asked where we were staying and what our room number was. I told him Water's Edge in Garden City and we're in room number--and Sandy literally kicked the crap outta me under the table--THANK YOU for that very unsubtle hint Sandy, that one I got!!  I tried to not react to Sandy's kick and hesitated on the room number, then told him that I couldn't remember the number but we were up high...hahaha (my nervous little laugh, cuz I didn't know what was happening but knew it probably wasn't good). I then told him, maybe my friends and I need to discuss this, why don't you give me your number and I'll call you in the morning IF we decide to go with you. I did catch a strange look that passed between the 3 of them, and they didn't seem to like that answer, but he gave me his number. Tim then said he was kinda tired and were we ready to leave? We left.
As soon as we got to the car and were on our way, I asked them what just happened back there?? Turns out these guys were part of a swinger's group. When the guy was talking to us at the bar, before he knew Tim was with us, his two friends were sitting beside Tim and Tim was listening in on their conversation. They were discussing the 2 newbies this guy was going to talk into going and how funny it would be once we were on the boat and realized what was happening.... among other things. Sandy asked if I hadn't picked up on the weird vibe from the guy talking to us..... Ummmm, no, do not catch subtle hints here, that's why I'm such a weirdo magnet. 
I was embarrassed, they had a laugh at my expense and  we went back to the hotel. Tim went on to bed, said he'd had enough for one night. Sandy and I, both of whom were a little tipsy, decided to go sit by the pool. It was about 1am-ish at this point. I grabbed my sketchpad and a pencil, cuz, hey, drunk sketching! We sat by the pool, in deck chairs with our feet on the wall overlooking the beach. She made me laugh about something and I dropped my pencil over the wall. We had to go rescue it, my sketching pencils are precious, especially when I'm tipsy! So, here we are on our hands and knees feeling around in the sand against the wall. As I found the pencil and stated so, I heard Sandy give a little gasp. I looked around and there are 3 sets of legs standing there. I looked up and, OMG, there are the 3 people from the bar. Poor Sandy looked like a deer in the headlights. I stood up and asked them what they were doing there and the talky guy says oh, we were just walking on the beach and happened to spot your hotel and hoped we might run into you here. We wanted to let you know how much we really want you guys to go with us in the morning and how much fun it will be. Well, now that I'm clued in, I can be firm! I told him we had discussed it and had already discussed plans for the day before his offer, and we also had some more friends coming down and weren't sure what time they were arriving, so, although we appreciate the offer, we were going to decline. None of them seemed to like this and he started to say something else, but I told him again, no thank you, but I'm sure you guys will have a great time without us. I then took Sandy's arm and asked if she was ready to go up and she nodded. We left them standing there staring at us. We beat it as fast as we could, taking the stairs for about 3 flights before we felt safe enough to get on the elevator. Could not believe they came to our hotel to track us down-scary!
It would have been nice to take a ride on a yacht, but I guess being forced to participate in an unwanted orgy would have sucked all the fun right outta that ride. Oh well, maybe someday! The yacht ride I mean, not the other thing.......

Monday, March 28, 2011

Life is full of funny coincidences!

I had the funniest thing happen yesterday! I had worked my usual hours Sat night and had gotten off Sun morning, headed home a slept for a few hours. Once awake, I called a friend and met her and her friend out for a late lunch. Once I left the restaurant, I decided to go ramble around the "Old Time Pottery" store. When leaving the store, I noticed a young woman holding a beautiful huge painting that she appeared to be placing in her car. She was parked a few spaces from me and I approached her and told her how beautiful the painting was, she thanked me, then laughed and said she was going to have to return it as it was too large to fit in her car! She says she was so disappointed, as this was perfect for the wall over her couch. I told her that I drive an SUV, and I thought we could easily fit it in my car, then I could follow her to her home. She got so excited about that and asked me if I was sure, and stated she just lived down the road on Roper Mountain Rd. I told her it was no problem, that I would hate to have to return such a gorgeous pic if I were in her shoes. She was literally doing a little dance as I went to pull my car up beside hers. We got most of it in, with it sticking out the back, but secured with bungee cords. I followed her, but the whole time I'm thinking she looked somewhat familiar. We arrived at her apartment complex and detached everything and took the pic out. She thanked me profusely and I told her it was no problem, I was happy to help! I help out my hand to shake hers and said "I'm Cindy, by the way". She shook my hand and replied "I'm Toni". My jaw dropped and I said, OMG, you're Toni C*******! She looked shocked and I said Teresa's daughter, right!! She started laughing and asked how in the world I knew that. I told her that her mom was an old friend of mine and that she, her mom and I were friends on Facebook!! We both started laughing and hugging!! I told her that the last time I saw her, she was still in diapers! Her mom and I had been very good friends and co-workers many, many years ago, but had lost touch once I went back to college in the early 80s. We had just reconnected last summer and met with each other downtown. She asked me what my last name is and I told her--she said she had heard her mom mention me her whole life and tell her how much she always thought of me and what a good friend I had been! She said she was going straight in and call her mom!
Ain't life just funny sometimes??!