Letting go

What is it that keeps people holding on to something long after its done? I ended a "friendship" nearly 2 years ago. This person was someone I tried to be a good friend to, in spite of his petty, childish moods and juvenile behaviour. He was married to one of my good friends, so I tried to overlook a lot of faults and to give him the benefit of doubt. Until the day he came into my home and ripped me apart, an unbelieveable verbal attack. He even had the nerve to tell me that if I didn't do what he told me and live my life the way he wanted, we couldn't be friends anymore. I already knew he was very insecure, but had no idea he was so controlling. I was very hurt and couldn't reply, it was all such a shock. He became angry at my tears and his wife, who sat on the edge of my couch staring at the floor, said to me "he doesn't understand emotion because I'm so unemotional. I take enough prozac so that I never have to feel anything". One of the saddest statements I've ever heard.

Controlling, abusive people are not welcome in my life, so I let him know, in no uncertain terms that the so called friendship was over, to no longer call, e-mail, text message or in any other way contact me. His wife, my supposed friend, then e-mailed MY friends and MY family to give them a very skewed version of what happened.?? I feel like they were trying to interfere with my other relationships. I then had to explain all this, rehash it over and over, with all of them. I heard the statement over and over from them that--"If they're trying to get us to choose sides and they think we'll choose them over you, they're very mistaken". I do feel that was what they were trying to do..?

Anyway, he would not let this go. He still contacted me by e-mail, at least until last summer when I told him for the 3rd-4th time to leave me alone and to never contact me again, and I thought he finally got the message.  It's history, let it go.

Today, I got home from work, and had a card taped to my front door. I have the sweetest neighbors, so I thought one of them had left me something. I opened it, and it's from him....!! In it, he actually admitted he was wrong, asked me to please forgive him and he wanted to renew our friendship..... What??!! What about this is not clear? I sent him an e-mail praising him for looking at his life and what he's done, but again told him that there was no friendship to renew. I'm careful about whom I allow in my life and I can't be friends with someone who's actions and motivations I do not trust. I actually sent this to his wife, as I long ago deleted his e-mail address. She wrote me back saying she had forwarded it to him, and that she doesn't remember many of the things I referred to, but that was because of her failing memory. Sounds more selective than failing to me!  

I've tried to be the bigger person in all this, and to dismiss a lot of the actions by both of them as the actions of sad, petty people who have no idea what a friend really is and I've put it behind me. This is such a dead issue and I'm tired of dealing with it. How many times do you have to tell someone to leave you alone before it's considered harrassment? As a teen, I was stalked by a crazy guy I worked with. This is starting to feel like that. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that this is finally over with and he will let it go.

I hope he finds happiness, because I know he's a very unhappy person And I hope he really is getting professional help to achieve this and not just trying to manipulate me and the situation. Poor guy!